It's Not A Thing
by Carol Rodrick
Summary: Things happen when we didn't want them to, things we have no control of. What do you do when you lose a piece of yourself? You go to a psychiatry. More info inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** It's Not A Thing - Chapter 01  
**Author:** Carol Rodrick  
**Beta Reader:** **kazfeist**  
**Category:** Harry Potter  
**Pairings:** Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, past references to Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley and Draco Malfoy/Astoria Greengrass  
**Genre:** Angst, Romance, Drama, Slice Of Life, Hurt/Comfort  
**Summary:** Things happen when we didn't want them to, things we have no control of. What do you do when you lose a piece of yourself? You go to a psychiatry.  
**Rating:** M/R  
**WARNINGS:** Characters Death, DH complaint, Epilogue complaint.  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own any characters from the Harry Potter universe. They are property of JK Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios. I make no money from the writing of this story.

**  
Author's Note:** Hello everyone! I'm so excited! This is my new fic. I know the summary sucks, but please give it a try. And things will make more sense on chapter 2. I hope you guys like this! Also, the next chapter of SDHW will be posted soon. Thanks Karen!

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It's Not A Thing – Chapter 01

Draco Malfoy stood beside his mother and son, receiving condolences from another forgettable person. He had become an automaton already. "I'm so sorry" "Thank you for coming" "She was so beautiful" "Yes, she was, thank you for coming" _Thank you for coming, thank you for, thank you, thank..._ And it was finally over. He felt his mouth dry, his eyes burn; he felt like he was a hundred years old.

He was barely forty, dammit.

Draco Malfoy was thirty-nine years old, father of Scorpius Malfoy, son of Narcissa. and Lucius Malfoy, and now a widower.

His late wife, Astoria, had just died of miscarriage complications. Too much blood loss. The baby was to be a girl. Too young to survive.

Or so they had said.

But Malfoys don't break apart. They don't cry in public either. Malfoys are made of stone.

Those thoughts were the only thing that kept Draco from quitting that place. Inside, he wanted to scream in rage, cry with despair, find a hole and never get out, tell all those people that they never really knew her, never saw that smile she only showed him...

And he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned around. Harry Potter, looking tired, deep in sorrow, with Ginny by his side, as gloomy as he.

...

Hermione just stood there, crying silently, her hand holding Ron's cold hands. Dead hands. Of her husband's hands.

It was the most stupid thing. Infuriating. Unfair.

He had been so proud when he had his driver's license. She could see his smile that day in her head, that bright open smile which had reached his eyes.

A car accident. He had died immediately. Head trauma, the doctors from the Muggle hospital said. It was the other driver's fault, they had said. Slept while driving.

But none of that mattered. Ron was dead. Her best friend, the love of her life, father of their children...

Not breathing. Unmoving. Cold. _Dead..._

Hermione just stood there, eyes fixed on her love's face, hand in hand. She had barely noticed as people came by to talk to her, her tears driving them away. She thought she heard Harry's voice some time ago, while someone had hugged her by the side. She knew Rose and Hugo were curled up near Molly somewhere, which was fine by her.

She wanted just to stay with him.

There was a hand on her shoulder then. She heard Harry's voice again. "... lost his wife. He is right across the hall from us."

She dizzily looked at Harry. He was with deep bags under his eyes and he must have been crying too, for they were puffy and red.

Her voice sounded shaken. "... What?"

Harry sighed deeply. "Draco Malfoy. He lost his wife, Hermione. He is right there." And he nodded towards the other room across across the hall She could see the other room full of people. In the entrance, Draco stood, tall and stiff, receiving condolences like a robot.

Hermione blinked. She heard Harry's voice again, but couldn't understand the words. Her brown eyes are focussed on Draco for a minute. She looked at Harry finally, who seems confused. She spoke only to him.

"Go there, Harry. He needs it..."

They stare at each other. Thirty years of friendship between them Harry nods. "All Right."

She gives him the smallest barely-there smile she can muster, and returns her eyes to Ron. Tears continue falling...

...

Draco doesn't know what to say. Potter seems as lost as he. He opens his mouth, looking at Draco, but closes it again. Water comes to his eyes, he takes a deep sound breath, and gives his hand to Draco. His gaze firm, red-eyed.

The simple gesture, the true feelings in it almost disarm Draco. He gulps. He knows everyone in the room is eying them, but there isn't reason for such tension. He gives his hand to Potter, and they shake hands only once, and hold on.

Draco whispers, his voice cracking in the beginning. "Why?"

Potter seems to feel a shiver, and lets go his hand gently. "... I don't know. Maybe... " And it is his voice that cracks now. He passes his hand in his eyes, under those round glasses. He takes a deep breath. "Because I wanted to. Because of her." And his green eyes dart to the left, to the other room that was being used that day. Draco follows his gaze.

Hermione Weasley. In the other room. Beside a coffin of dark wood. She was crying without blinking, and nothing seemed to exist besides her and her late husband, Ron Weasley. She just stood there, holding his cold, hard hand.

Draco Malfoy felt a pang in his chest. He looks at Potter again, and nods. And feels that he can't pretend anymore. But just a little longer.

He gulps. He takes uncertain steps towards the little brunette. He stops just beside her. His voice is low, and as gentle as he can manage without sounding strangled.

"... Hermione."

She blinks. She looks at him, new tears falling.

"... Draco."

They lock their eyes for a second. His own tears start to fall.

"... I'm sorry for the emptiness..." He says really low, just for her. She nods after some time, slowly.

"Me too..."

They both take a nod at each other. Her eyes go back to her love. He walks back to his.

He can hear the surprised gasp of his mother because of his tears, but he doesn't care. He walks straight to her coffin. Scorpius is there, holding on as best as he can. Draco fells terrible.

It is time things change.

He slides his arm around his son. It startles the teen. The young man looks up.

"Father?"

Draco squeezes his son shoulder before pulling him closer. He is shaking. Scorpius notices it.

"Scorpius."

"Yes, father?"

"Remember what I told you?"

"...Yes. I'm not crying..."

"I know. I'm sorry, son..."

"... Its okay, dad..."

He finally feels Scorpius returning the hug. His smaller body begins to tremble together with him. He turns to his mother, and whispers.

"I want everybody that is not close out. NOW." His voice is so cold and so deep in sorrow that Narcissa complies.

Draco moves closer to his dead wife and daughter, holding close his living son. They both cry. They both don't care.

That day, Draco lost a bit of himself. Hermione did too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:_ Oh yes I am uploading this one too. It s not beta-ed so all the mistakes are mine. Anyone wants to beta? Please send me a pm with questions kay?_**

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It's Not A Thing – Chapter 02

Hermione stared at her round point shoes. They are brown, normal. Forgettable. Soulless. She sadly smirks to herself.

"Just like the owner." She muttered.

Yes, because she was nothing. Just some middle age woman, depressive on top of all, thinking of stupid shoes and dead husbands.

She shivers. _Don't think of him. This is why you are here, remember? Leave him in peace, just like Harry said..._ With that she can muster some control. _Try to look at the bright side._

At least the couch she was sited was comfortable.

Hermione frowned her eyebrows as she kept thinking. _At least this waiting room is nice. White walls, comfy seats, lilac flowers, lots of magazines... _

The noise of a door opening and closing startled her a bit, and she turns to see who arrived. She can't see much, the waiting room is separated to the main hall by a wall.

"It's to prevent the patients of feeling uncomfortable." She remembered the sweet and brainless secretary saying the first time she asked.

_Uncomfortable of what; their shadows? _Thought Hermione, snorting to herself. _No, right, to be seeing a shrink I guess. Like I care._

She could hear voices on the other room, a male one and the secretary's. She passes her hands on her short curls and mutters to herself again. "Lets leave the crazy people in peace." And she grabbed a magazine, just to pretend she was oblivious.

..........

The moment he stepped in the waiting room, he saw her. He blinked, a bit stunned, and forgot to walk. Draco had totally forgotten about her. It has been a year, so he thought it was okay.

Solely, he puts his hands on his jacket pockets, and takes the seat on the other side of the couch. He waits a minute and she doesn't even glanced at him. It always infuriated him to be ignored, Astoria would do that to him if she was mad...

He fought the urge to take one hand and cover his eyes. He was so tired. _Maybe Scorpius was right._ He thought. _I do have issues._

Draco fixed his eyes on the doors across the waiting room. Two doors to be exact, both with nice, expensive looking tablets with names on it.

Doctor Amelia S. Mallory and Doctor Rupert Mallory.

Draco frowns. He spoke before he could even think.

"They are fucking married!"

..........

The sound of a male voice right next to her makes Hermione abandon a very interesting article she was reading on this random magazine. She looked at the person. Her eyes widen.

"Malfoy?"

He looked at her immediately. His eyes widen, and he seems to realize only now that he truly spoken out loud. He clenches his jaw and speaks between his teeth.

"They are fucking married. They are both alive. They won't understand..."

Hermione blinked. She looked at the doors. Her expression changes from confused to blank. She looks back at him.

..........

They study each other for some time. They see the same things. Bags under the eyes, clothes that were comfortable but ugly.

A tired, full of sorrow aura.

They keep looking at each other for quite a long time. She sighs. Her voice is shaken, as if she was holding back tears.

"Let's get out of here."

He knows what she must be feeling. So he nodded. "There is a bar a few blocks down."

She nods then. "Perfect."

They both stand up and go out, not giving a damn about the confused secretary...

..........

_One hour later..._

"... and she was a vision. I was barely 20, you know, so you can imagine how crazy I went."

Hermione chuckles, sipping her drink. "Funny, first time I saw him we were first years. We didn't get along for quite some time."

He sips his drink, then makes a wide move with his arms. "Ah, that doesn't count. You were kids. Tell me when you first realized you liked him."

She ponders. "Well. Maybe fourth year. But I only came to my senses on the sixth. You might remember, he was dating Lavander."

"Lavander Brown?!" He makes a gaging sound. She laughs. "Thanks."

..........

_Four hours later..._

They were both sad now. Siting side by side, knees and elbows touching, both sipping a their drinks.

Hermione told him details of her last day with Ron, and how he died.

Draco told her how happy he was for Astoria being pregnant before all happened.

He paid the bill. They walked out of the bar, leaning on one another for balance into the next empty alley.

She fumbles inside her bag. She gives him a vial of a sober up potion, while getting one for herself. He thanks her and drank at the same time as she did.

Sober, they both stared.

A couple of minutes passed. He can see tears coming to her eyes. He can feel tears on his eyes.

"Why did they had to leave us?"

He looked at her. He blinked and his tears come free. "I don't know."

Sobbing, Hermione sits on the ground. After seconds, Draco joins beside her. Weirdly, he passes an arm around her shoulders. He is crying too.

"I'm sorry."

She gasps. She buried her head on his shoulder. One hand goes to his neck, comforting him, playing with his hair. She mumbles.

"I'm sorry too."

He bites his lip. He takes a deep sob. He hugs her close and buried his own face on her shoulders.

They stay there for a long time, crying like children, comforting one another.

"I wish I could see him again. Just one more time."

_Me too_, he thought. She griped onto him harder.

"You know, it's silly, but I still have a lock of his hair. Smells just like him, but the scent is getting weaker..."

"… It's not silly. I have a lock of her hair as well."

"...Oh."

"Yeah."

They stay on the same position for some time. Then Hermione back away from him with a start, her face fresh with tears but her eyes with a slightly mad and determinate gleam.

"_Polyjuice_... Draco, _POLYJUICE_!"

He blinked, confused. Then he understands.

They smiled at each other.


End file.
